Burn or Buy Ep. 3
So, it happened.
I finally got to burn a painting for BURN or BUY. It’s a mixed feeling I’m experiencing in the aftermath, but, overall I’m happy I did it. I almost saved it from the fire and hid it because I liked it so much and felt it meant something to my current state of mind, but, I kept to my project and kept honest.
Why I started this project a couple months back rang so very true as I watched the flames climb higher and higher. Some of my friends were around to watch as I did it, but, mostly I felt like I was in my own world. So many different emotions bundled up in that 16x20 covered in how many layers of paint that I can’t even count.
Twisted, turning, black red white and gold.
One of my favorite combos of late, perhaps because of the tension all those contrasts of color create. Lot’s in my head, my life, everything is tense. What exactly is running across my neurons could fill many posts...and has in the past, lol.
This painting took a minute to catch fire. Something about it resisted, wanted to survive. Like those dark thoughts that love haunting the shadow of your, no, my mind. Three times I tried to light it, but to no avail. But, finally with some kindling...it happened. The parallel to life was striking, now that I think about it. Like chemical reactions waiting for a catalyst, I walk along my daily path trying to make something happen.
But, nothing will happen until the right ingredients are mixed together.
The terrible jumble in my mind will remain just that, until I am finally able to find the right thing that will set it alight. A complete person I may be, seeking only the answers to questions in my head, but that is not enough for an artist. I want to burn, and brightly so that others can see, which requires tinder...
So I shall continue to seek, I shall continue to create, I shall continue to burn however I can, until, hopefully, I find the thing that sets me ablaze. That was what I learned from BURN or BUY ep. 3. That is why I will continue this project. The lessons I learn are well worth the pain and sacrifice.
And, for those of you who wish you’d seen it, find me on Instagram at @iamartwessel as I usually give a good heads up as to when it’s coming :)
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